Secret songs
by Looshk
Summary: Demyx is chirpy loud annoying and is far too dumb to comprehend anything beyond ignorant bliss. Yet I hear a voice every night singing of love and loss... Demyx? Couldn't be.
1. Chapter 1

"No."  
"Please!"  
"NO!"  
"But!"  
"But nothing!"  
"I wrote it!"  
Zexion froze momentarily on the spot feeling angry about being followed by Demyx.  
"So what?"  
He turned on the blonde musician who was now teary eyed.  
"S-So... Nothing..."  
Turning around he began to run back down the hallway dropping behind him a piece of paper.  
"Hey you dropped..."  
Zexion shrugged deciding he would give Demyx back whatever it was later putting it in his pocket he walked into his room forgetting about it.

His room so much like his life was dark, sparce and void of people, he liked it this way, maybe.  
Often he would gaze out the window and watch Axel and Roxas messing about in the gardens and even from time to time when they thought no one was looking the way Axel held Roxas wrists against tree trunks as he captured his neck or lips with his own lips...  
From time to time he would feel almost jealous and pull his curtains closed and sit in the dark cursing the outside world from the darkness while closing himself within it.  
This day however, would be different and little did he know the changes had already started.

He stepped out of the shower shaking his hair grimacing at his own reflection his self critic going crazy.  
'Do you know why you don't experience what Axel and Roxas do when they think no ones looking?'  
/No, well maybe.../  
'It's because you're horrible and uncaring to those around you Zexion.'  
/I am only uncaring and horrible because they are the same to me./  
'Oh, is that so? Does the name Demyx sound familiar?'  
/Thats different, he just kids about to annoy me./  
'Yeah, you can still say that after you made him cry and run off because you wouldn't listen to a song he wrote.'  
/He wasn't serious.../  
'Sure Zexion, if you can sleep tonight after that you're not only ugly on the outside.'  
The teenager pulled the hair back from his face staring deep into his own eyes and then shaking it off as him being sleep deprived.  
Yet when he went to settle down that night underneath his midnight blue sheets, something fell out of his pocket as he threw his discarded clothes from the bed to the floor.  
/Demyx.../  
He mused as he placed his bare feet on the floor and walked across the wood to the piece of paper, it was folded many times, like he'd been trying to conceal it.  
Examining it as he held it between his thumb and index finger he started to unfold it.  
His eyes met the familiar handwriting and he began to read.

*Here you are again looking too beautiful to be approachable and still I try and you fuck me over, turn me on and make me cry...  
Despite myself I crawl back to gaze upon you like a cocaine addict after a fix even though you degrade me I need to be near you I need to behold you, see those eyes look down upon me, even if its in hate, they're still looking right?*

Zexion although fully aware of the fact he shouldn't be reading this couldn't help but continue.

*I want you to hold me, I don't care if you hate me, I just need you to have me, to hold me down...*

/Fuck this is really good.../

*You can fuck me I can pretend that you love me and we'll all be happy on the outside, yeah who cares what I'm feeling or that my heart is bleeding when you're holding me down, yeah... I'm drowning in my love for you.  
Dying is all that I can do, when I'm drowning in my love for you.*

/I didn't know Demyx had the capability to feel things like this, he seems like such an... Idiot./  
'And there you go again.'  
/Shut up./

Not even thinking about what he was about to do he pulled back on his discarded clothes and started off towards Demyx's room, now that the lights were all out, the castle had an eerie silence everywhere, the moonlight casting his shadow long across the hall he gripped the paper in his hand.  
/I wonder who he wrote this about?/  
Long white curtains startled him blowing through an open window in the hallway, however when he went to close it, he noticed a figure moving in the distance, curious he closed the window and made his way down to the front door fast, so the potential intruder wouldn't be able to escape.  
Creeping slowly along the garden path armed with a random pole he'd picked up from the vaccuum cleaner near the door he could now hear a voice to match the figure.  
"Stupid fucker, you're lucky you're cute or else I'd probably have given up by now, are you so blind to my advances or do you just hate me that much?"  
/Singing?/  
Zexion creeped across the dewy grass to listen closer to what the person was singing.  
"Everything about you appeals to me even your rotten manner and non existent personality..."  
He moved even closer now only about 2 meters away from him.  
"Evil evil fuck, god I'd love to, but I doubt you'll ever notice me."  
Closer still he moved until he was a mere few feet away.  
"It's a sick thing to want, but it's not a want it's a need even if you hate my guts, I need you to want me..."  
/DEMYX!/  
Zexion almost fell out of his standing, there strumming away and singing DEPRESSING lyrics that he had seemingly WRITTEN sitting in the grass by the light of the moon feeling sorry for himself was Demyx.  
"Even if you'd just FUCK me, it'd keep me for a little while what I need to keep me steady is you as my lover always ready to show me that you really do care anytime of night or day."  
Leaning in further now he wanted to hear and his voice was getting quiet.  
"But you're too good for me Zexy so it just remains my fantasy..."  
The blue haired man tried to back off slowly but slightly freaked out by Demyx being completely depressed and the general surrealness of the situation tripped over his robes and fell over...  
/FUCK!/  
The blonde man looked around and stood up just as Zexion scrambled behind a tree, he could hear Demyx's breath approaching from just behind where he was hiding.  
/Please don't find me...Please.../  
Demyx finally shrugged looking around him muttering something about squirrels...  
When he had settled up against his tree again Zexion wondered where his eyes were fixated and on this thought decided to head back up to his room creeping out from behind the tree he was tackled by Demyx.  
"Who the hell... Zexion?"  
The blonde found his cheeks taking a slight colour as he looked down at Zexion's wrists pinned to the ground.  
/Think of the possibilities right now Demyx.../  
Zexion took a deep shocked breath inwards.  
/He's holding your wrists just like how Axel and Roxas do it.../  
Demyx was shocked and knew that Zexion would probably kill him, but with absolute fright couldn't let go.  
Both inhaled and exhaled slowly watching their breath form on the air as they held that pose for a few moments, eventually Demyx found his movement and released Zexion's wrists.  
The teen simply got up and not taking his eyes off the blonde for another moment or two said nothing, he just walked back towards the mansion.  
/I wonder what he was staring at?/

On his way back through the moonlight halls he paid attention to the windows to see what was in Demyx's direct vision...  
Running along the halls window after window flashing moonlight onto his pale skin, window by window his face seemed sadder and sadder, that lonely musician, who always had such a brave face on, whoever knew he was secretly heartbroken?  
After checking every window on the floor unable to figure it out he returned to his room, but when he went to pull the curtains, there in the same spot he had left him in, sat Demyx, staring directly at him.  
Zexion hesitated at the window momentarily and unsure of what to do pulled the curtains, blocking Demyx's heartbroken gaze outside.


	2. Chapter 2

Zexion slept badly that night, his dreams were full of Demyx's saddened gaze staring somberly up at him from the garden, those eyes on the verge of tears filled his minds eye...  
/Who the hell? Zexion?/  
His voice had sounded somewhere between thrilled and extremely frightened.  
He could clearly see from the crack in the curtains that it was still dark outside he peeked through the curtains to see if Demyx was still sitting there.  
But he had seemingly long gone...

Zexion slept in late the next day, missing breakfast.  
His eyes blinked open and closed quickly again the gap where he had forgotten to close the curtains was letting in a long beam of sunlight which despite only being a thin beam seemed to light his whole room and blind him.  
"Ugh... God..."  
Sitting up he shielded his eyes wiping them to try and get his vision accustomed to the bright light that was filling his room.  
Slowly he pulled open the curtains, flaming red hair caught his eye, right where they had been the night before sprawled out on the grass lay Axel and Roxas side by side, looks of complete bliss upon their faces, eyes closed bathing in the sunlight.  
Jealousy and curiousity rose in Zexion, he ran his fingers through his hair pulling his fringe back out of his face looking down upon them.  
/They can waste time in each others company, they could be happy doing this, could they possibly be...?/  
Zexion pushed the thought away, far into the back of his mind.  
/That's impossible.../  
He sat cross legged on his bed leaning his elbow on his thigh unable to push Demyx's last gaze up at him out of his mind.  
While away in his thoughts he heard something slip under the door which snapped him back to reality.  
"Huh?"  
He looked over to the door, where there now lay a white sheet of paper.  
Turning himself on the bed he put his bare feet to the cold wooden floor and shifted his weight so he was standing up, he walked quickly over to the door and picking up the piece of paper opened the door and looked out, the retreating figure of one of the members met his gaze.  
"Hey!"  
Frowning he closed the door and unfolded the piece of paper.

Zexion,

I'm extremely sorry about what happened last night, I got freaked out.  
I wouldn't have in any sane state of mind have acted like that.  
As much as I would like to ask you what you were doing out that late, I won't...  
Please don't tell anyone I was out either.  
It's nothing sinister that I'm up to, I just use that time to... think.  
Sorry again.

Demyx.

/Think about what?/  
He moved back towards his bed his eyes catching the two lovers lying together in the sun, bathed in light.  
A bit away from them, someone else caught his gaze.  
Blonde hair, spiked, sitar lying across his lap, eyes closed, fingers rested across the strings.  
His expression, although he was quite a long way off, was readable.  
Sadness.  
He moved away from the window and walked into the bathroom, he switched on the shower, the spray of water piping hot.  
Abandoning his boxers on the floor he climbed into the shower feeling the warmth of the water hitting his skin.  
His hair dripped with water down his face.  
/How can I even try to deal with this, when I can't understand it?/

"Hey there Zexy what's it like in your room, I feel like I'm a thousand miles away even though I'm pretty close to you yes it's true the stars can't shine as bright as you, oh yes it's true..."  
Opening his eyes he strummed his sitar a few more times, tightening strings trying to tune it when a figure made the shadow cast over him by the tree slightly darker.  
"Huh?"  
There in front of him stood Zexion, hair still wet from his shower.  
"Uh..."  
Demyx looked slightly flustered.  
"I uh... Sorry about last night..."  
Zexion shrugged.  
"It's cool, I got your note."  
"Oh... Yeah..."  
"Mind if I sit here?"  
"No, no, not at all..."  
Curious now Demyx shifted over to give Zexion room to sit down.  
He sat down against the bark of the tree quite close to Demyx, the leafy shade cool against the midday heat.  
They sat for about a minute in silence when Demyx took a breath.  
"So um... What are you doing here?"  
Zexion not opening his eyes shrugged.  
"Just thought I'd come sit here..."  
"Yeah, um ok."  
He began to strum his sitar again humming slightly when Zexion stopped him.  
"What is that?"  
Taken aback Demyx stopped strumming.  
"Uhm... I can stop..."  
"No, I know that song. I just wondered is all."  
Demyx made a slight 'oh' motion with his lips and started strumming again noticing that Zexion was bobbing his head slightly in time.  
"Do you know the lyrics?"  
"I think I might, why?"  
"Just wondered."  
Demyx took a hint and started humming softly he noticed Zexion's head bobbing in time with the tune again and started to nervously sing a little.  
"Gone, she's gone, how do you feel about it? Thats what I thought, there is no love about it and I wish you the best but I could do without it and I will because you've gone without me..."  
Noting his reaction Demyx continued.  
"Wore me down like a road I'd do anything you told, wore me down to my knees I'd do anything to please, but you can't stop thinking about her, no you can't stop thinking about her...  
And you're wrong you're wrong, I'm not overreacting, something is off why dont we ever believe ourselves? And I oh I, I feel that worked for you and I will because you've gone without, oh I will because you've gone without me...  
Wore me down like a road I'd do anything you told, wore me down to my knees I'd do anything to please, but you can't stop thinking about her, no you can't stop thinking about her...  
She's so pretty she's so damn polite but I'm so tired of thinking about her again tonight...  
Wore me down like a road I did anything you told, wore me down to my knees I did everything to please you...  
Wore me down like a road I did everything you told me to do, but you cant stop thinking about her, no you can't stop thinking about her, no you cant stop thinking about her...  
No you cant stop thinking about her..."  
His voice became a whisper and the strums faded off into mere echos, but the look of pure relaxation on Zexion's face was worth the reddened cheeks that singing in front of Zexion had caused.  
Zexion's eyes opened and Demyx thought he saw a slight smile cross Zexion's lips for a split second and as quickly as he had sat down Zexion stood back up again, and laid a hand on Demyx's shoulder.  
"You played that excellently..."  
As soon as he had come Zexion was walking back over the green grass towards the mansion again leaving Demyx bewildered as to what had just happened.

Zexion went straight back up to his room looking out through the open windows on his way back up, Axel and Roxas had moved out of sight and there solitary on the grass, in what Zexion assumed to be his usual spot facing his bedroom window sat Demyx again.

Later on Zexion was awoken by a knock on his door.  
"Um what?"  
"Uh... Hi... It's uh Demyx..."  
Zexion rolled his eyes.  
"Just push the door, it's not locked."  
Slowly the door opened.  
"Uh hi... Um, you missed dinner... So I uh..."  
Demyx held out his hand presenting Zexion with a plate full of sandwiches.  
The grey blue haired teen pulled his hair out of his face with a swish of his hand.  
"Woah... How long was I asleep for?"  
Demyx shrugged.  
"No idea... I just noticed you wern't at dinner so... Yeah..."  
Zexion put his hands out and took the plate out of Demyx's hands stroking them in the process causing chills to run up Demyx's spine.  
"Uh... Thanks..."  
Not used to this sort of random kindness he felt awkward and lay the sandwiches down beside him.  
"Uhm... Do you want to sit down?"  
The blonde teens face lit up and he sat on the bed near Zexion as he took a bite out of one of the sandwiches.  
"These are really good, I guess I didn't realize how hungry I was..."  
Demyx now delighted with the day he was having didn't need to respond everything was perfect.  
/Perfect, perfect, perfect.../  
His eyes came back into focus and he found Zexion staring at him.  
"Huh?"  
"I just don't understand..."  
"What?"  
"This, what do you want in return?"  
Demyx's mind flashed with images of Zexion in his boxers with his fingers in his mouth posing for pictures he would later use for his own *ahem* amusement...  
"Nothing..."  
Zexion looked puzzled.  
"But why?"  
Demyx felt his face flush.  
"Um, well I guess you could say I consider you a friend..."  
Still the grey blue haired teen looked confused.  
"I just can't grasp the idea of this, it seems... Alien to me."  
The blonde haired teens face fell.  
"Oh..."  
Zexion looked up.  
"You look... Unhappy."  
"Well, sometimes you make me feel unhappy..."  
"What?"  
"Nothing..."  
Zexion laid the sandwich down on the plate.  
"How come you always seem so... Happy?"  
"Well I am ha..."  
"But when I see you alone you're always so... Sad?"  
Demyx's eyes opened wide.  
/Shit./  
"I just, wish I could understand, then maybe, you would be happy all the time, but I don't and I don't know what I'm supposed to do to make you smile..."  
The blonde haired teens face flushed and he stood up.  
"Don't leave, I need to say this."  
Demyx sat back down.  
"I've seen you staring up at me and your expression changing and it's been on my mind and I don't have a clue why."  
Zexion rested his hands against his temples his face looking concentrated.  
"All I know is, that when I see it, it does something to me and it's something I'm really not used to... Feeling."  
His voice was unemotional and very matter of fact except on the word 'feeling' where it seemed to crack.  
Moving towards Demyx now his brow was furrowed and his eyes looked frustrated like he was trying to figure out a really difficult maths problem.  
"You've been... Nice to me... And I don't know what I'm supposed to do to make you smile again I don't even know WHY I feel this way or why seeing you sad even makes me feel bad. I'm... Confused."  
He moved closer now.  
"I'm a nobody I'm not supposed to feel at all and I don't know if I really can..."  
Their faces were inches apart now.  
Demyx voice was barely audible.  
"Well lets find out then..."  
His lips moved in to find Zexion's who seemed to jump at the contact but settled into the kiss quite fast and feeling Demyx's hands run up his back lay back onto the bed where Demyx's hands moved up and held his holding them over his head, not forcibly but gently, like he wanted him there, but he could pull away if he felt like it.  
Zexion's eyes fell closed and his lips opened in a sigh which Demyx took full advantage of deepening the kiss exploring Zexion's mouth with his tongue.  
/This really is the best day ever I can't believe I'm here in his room with him./  
Demyx's lips made their way down to Zexion's neck causing him to gasp.  
/I don't want to hurt you.../  
His lips pulled away leaving them staring into each others eyes.  
One's fantasy was slowly coming through.  
The other unsure if he was even capable of feeling.  
/I don't want to hurt you.../


	3. Chapter 3

Demyx looked down at Zexion and moved slowly in to kiss him again but this time he turned his head leaving Demyx's lips meeting air.  
His mind was racing.  
/I'm a nobody I cannot feel... But I can feel darker things, like guilt and remorse and maybe thats all I'll be left with if I let this continue.../  
Slowly he moved out of Demyx's arms in a deliberate movement across the midnight blue bedsheets, off the bed and out of the room, he closed the door softly behind him.  
Some kind of pain was forming in his chest as he did so.  
/Hello remorse, did you miss me?/  
Moving quite fast now he regained his composure in a moment because he knew Demyx and knew that he probably wouldn't let him walk off without a fight.  
But as he walked down the cool twilight lit halls there was no frantic fast moving sound of footsteps.  
He stood still for a few moments despite himself almost... hoping.  
/NO!/  
Forcing himself to walk he went towards the front door, out into the gardens, trying to concentrate on anything, everything even.  
This however only seemed to lead him to what was on his mind, leaving him standing in the lush green grass under the tree that had a direct view of his window, out of which Demyx was gazing.  
For a few moments he leaned against the tree and stared up Demyx's big sad eyes staring down at him, for a single moment he thought he felt something beyond grief.  
A tug in his chest, a pain which was like nothing he'd ever felt before, a pain that pricked the back of his eyes like a red hot poker, so intense it was that it even caused a lump to form in his throat.

Demyx watched his form lurk under the tree.  
/That's how I must look when I sit there and gaze up./  
He watched Zexion move when the moonlight made something on his face sparkle which was quickly touched by Zexion's hand.

Zexion stared at his hand in disbelief shaking.  
/Am I.../

/He's.../

"Crying?"  
Axel shrugged burning a random piece of paper that was lying on the floor.  
"I have cried if that's what you're asking, what's so odd about that?"  
Zexion looked irritated shifting uncomfortably on the blood red sheets that covered Axel's bed.  
"I don't cry."  
He practically spat from between gritted teeth.  
The redhead rolled his eyes.  
"Yup and I'm Mother Thereasa! Which we both know isn't true cause Mother Thereasa was not a big gay red headed pyromaniac and I am... In short Zexion what I am saying is everytime you lie a puppy dies, so stop lying... And killing puppies..."  
The grey blue haired teen looked disturbed.  
"I wouldn't put it by you Zexion, you have this whole creepy 'I'll kill you' thing going on... Personally you make me feel uncomfortable... And everytime you enter a room it's like death has just walked in and you know what else?"  
Zexion stood up.  
"THANK YOU AXEL!"  
Axel turned on the bed to see Zexion running out the door.  
/So it is possible for nobodies to cry./

Demyx elsewhere was proving this theory quite true.  
"And we were there on his bed and it was great, then all of a sudden he pulls away from under me and walks out into the garden, I could see him from his window... The really odd thing is... I could've sworn I saw him..."  
"ROXY!"  
Axel burst into the room grabbing Roxas making to kiss him and then punching him playfully in the arm because Demyx was sitting there.  
He took one look at Demyx's tear stained face and decided that he really shouldn't be there.  
"Uhm... I'll meet you outside... K Roxas?"  
With that he left the room and standing against the dark coloured wall by Roxas' bedroom door the penny dropped.  
/WAIT! Zexion and Demyx!/  
"No fucking way..."  
He said aloud for all to hear.  
"What's wrong Axel? More spiders?"  
"No Roxas, it's cool I just um... Figured something out..."  
Demyx emerged his eyes red and blotchy from crying with a cheeky grin on his face.  
"Spiders Axel?"  
He laughed a little and Axel (not one to laugh at if you want your *ahem* bits left in place) laughed too and stopped abruptly.  
Leaning forward he mouthed the word 'Zexion' at him and gauged his reaction with an amused look on his face as Roxas pulled him away down the hall.  
"HEY!"  
Demyx shouted after him once he fully comprehended what Axel must know and tried to catch up to them only to have Axel's bedroom door closed in his face and the sound of Axel laughing at him though the wood.  
He waited at the door until Axel's 'laughter' was no longer laughter but something very different indeed and something Demyx really did not want to hearing right now.  
"Uhm... I'll come back later then..."  
The sound of his voice was greeted by an extra loud moan from behind Axel's locked bedroom door which made Demyx run away screaming down the hall and left a very amused Axel and Roxas sitting behind the door.  
"Heh heh he thought we were making out!"  
"Yeah! Ha ha ha! Wait hold on..."  
The redhead looked up confused.  
"Uhm, why ARN'T we making out?"  
Roxas face flushed as Axel pushed his form against the wall...

Zexion was sitting at the crowded dining room table when Demyx walked into the room and sat across from him with a look on his face that was different from any he'd seen before.  
Demyx sat down talking like everything was completely ok and Zexion seeing that Demyx feeling a little better relaxed a little and began to eat.  
He was enjoying a particularly large mouthful of juicy steak when he felt someones foot against his crotch which immediately made him spit it out.  
Marluxia who was sitting next to him gave him a look like he was insane.  
"Say it don't spray it."  
Zexion shot him a dirty look and started eating again when the same thing started happening again.  
/Oh god... Think of something unsexy... Um old people.../  
A particularly pleasurable jerk of Demyx's foot made Zexion jump.  
"NAKED OLD PEOPLE!"  
The pink haired man was looking at him in disgust.  
"If you wanted to make me lose my appetite, congratulations you've succeeded..."  
Marluxia stood up and shaking his head in utter disgust at Zexion left the room.  
Luxord grinned over.  
"Well if Marfagia is on some kind of diet I'll eat it! I'm starving! Pass it over!"  
Zexion picked up the plate and tried to hand it over when Demyx moved his foot again causing him to drop the food on the table followed by an agreeable gasp for air.  
Luxord raised an eyebrow.  
"Uh, are you feeling okay Zexion? You seem a little bit off..."  
The pleasure was constant now and Zexion swallowed hard before attempting to answer.  
His voice went up an octave and he answered with a simple 'uh huh'.  
"Okay, if you say so."  
After a few more minutes of staring at Zexion's odd behaviour Luxord passed it off as Zexion smoking the 'wacky tabacci' again and continued to eat.  
Zexion was sitting back in his chair now hands gripping the table cloth and sweat beads forming on his forehead, Demyx lifted a glass of wine and held it up to toast to Zexion in a sarcastic manner and took a large gulp of it before resuming chatting to Xigbar and taking no notice of the absolute torture he was bestowing on Zexion.  
He endured this for almost an hour and then finally decided to take the risk that the coat might hide the fact that he was aroused at that very moment and standing up not daring to look down walked out of the room.


	4. Chapter 4

Zexion ran down the corridor red faced and irritated as hell.  
/Fucking stupid Demyx making me feel... Like this.../  
He could only imagine Demyx's smug look as he sat there at the table with his wine and his damn feet...  
Growling to himself he stormed back to his room but as soon as he had dropped his coat to the floor and fallen face first into the midnight blue sheets, there was a knock on the door.  
"Oh I wonder who that could be?"  
He hissed to himself, he got off the bed and answering the door was ready to shout.  
"Demy..."  
But got put straight back in his place by finding a very different face staring back at him.  
"Uh... Marluxia?"  
The pink haired man pushed straight past Zexion and sat on the bed behind him.  
"I think we need to have a little talk..."

Demyx now under the influence of alcohol and quite sure that Zexion was not 'just using the toilet' set off to find him.  
"I'll sheee yoooou laterrrrz Luxo..."  
Roxas looked at the inebriated musician and decided not to say anything he just shook his head and walked away from the table as if he needed to get space between himself and the drunken idiots.  
/Thank God Axel's not here... He'd be fucked up at this stage./  
The blonde musician now swaying made his way to the door of the dining room and up the stairs towards Zexion's room.  
"I'ma gets my sexy Zexy wooooooooo!"  
He tried to plan what he was going to say as he passed the huge windows, the moon was hidden behind clouds making the hallways darker.  
"Ooooh stormy!"  
Close to his door now he could hear murmurs coming from Zexion's room Demyx moved his ear to the door.  
"Awww come on Zexion, you didn't say no to me before, why say no now?"  
"Because I want to."  
"We'll see..."  
"Let go of my hands..."  
"Nope."  
"I-I... Ahhhhh..."  
"And you don't want me to continue?"  
"Get the f-fuck off me you bastard!"  
"But Zexion you clearly want it..."  
"Get your hands off me now or I'll break them."  
The blonde teen listening outside had gone pale listening.  
/What do I do? What do I do?/  
"Come on Zexy... Just for old times sake..."  
"No! LET ME GO!"  
Without a further thought Demyx walked into the room shooting a fake surprised look towards the bed, Marluxia merely turned his head staring Demyx down and rolling his eyes loosened his grip on Zexion who had his jacket on the floor his trousers unzipped and his shirt unbuttoned.  
Taking the chance of throwing Marluxia off Zexion bucked his hips making Marluxia lose his balance and fall to the floor.  
Without wasting a second more Zexion grabbed his coat from the floor and ran out his bedroom door without looking at Demyx.  
The blonde balled his hands into fists.  
"What was that?"  
Marluxia stood up.  
"We were talking."  
He threw back flatly.  
Demyx pursed his lips together.  
"You've never 'talked' to me like that."  
The pink haired man grinned moving towards him.  
"And if you did I'd kick your ass."  
He stopped dead in his steps Demyx never talked to anyone like this.  
"Stay away from Zexion."  
Marluxia stepped in front of the door.  
"Or what?"  
"Don't make me hurt you."  
"Yes Demyx because I really am so threatened by your 'big man' talk... I'm going off to find Zexion."

Demyx walked quickly to his room and grabbing his sitar in blind rage set back out after Marluxia.

/I just want to be left alone and I guess Marluxia solved my problem for me, I never need to find out if I can love, cause now Demyx will never love me.../  
Breathless he fell to his knees under a tree panting only to see a tall silhouette emerging from among the trees he could hear the sound of Marluxia's voice.  
"Oh come now Zexion, whats got you so frightened? You seemed to enjoy yourself last time."  
He reached out to Zexion who cowered away from his hands but they never touched him.  
"Enjoy this you pink haired freak!"  
Just as Marluxia's head turned to see who had dared call him a 'pink haired freak' the side of it was met by a large blue sitar which not only knocked him clean out but sent him several feet across the grass in a heap.  
The grey blue haired man looked up at Demyx who was panting and glaring down at Marluxia's unconscious form.  
"Bastard."  
He looked around to Zexion who was now on his feet.  
"Are you ok..."  
His question was silenced by Zexion's lips on his own and all at once he was elated and nervous and surprised, but also blank.  
This moment was something he had been waiting for since the incident in Zexion's room and now it was happening.  
But as soon as it had started...  
It was over again and Zexion was already walking back towards the mansion.  
The blonde musician now found himself with his sitar abandoned in the grass and Marluxia's unconscious but stirring form not far from it.  
/Fuck./  
Quickly he grabbed his sitar and made his way across the damp grass up towards the lights of the mansion.

/Who knows what happened last time? I can't force anything. If he wants anything to do with me, he'll come find me./  
With this thought and a small grin on his face after what he had just experienced he made his way to his room.  
/It's been a good day Demyx a good good day!/  
Zexion watched him walk up the opposite hallway with interest.  
/He's clearly insane and yet I'm intrigued.../  
He looked up the hallway to his own room it was dark and unwelcoming, but suddenly his feet were moving on their own towards Demyx's room, even though he had no idea which one was his.  
He began to run to catch up and caught up in time to see a door close.  
/I wonder if that is Demyx's room...?/  
Slowly he approached the door listening hard for any give away signs he heard someone yawning loudly and a small thud on the wooden floor.  
He could hear someone walking up the stairs nearby.  
/Could that be?/  
Gulping he raised his hand and knocked three times.  
The footsteps were drawing closer and looking up and down the hallway he started trying to hide in the shadows of the doorway.  
Shortly before the footsteps reached him the door opened and he fell to his hands and knees in front of Demyx who looked somewhat confused with a toothbrush in his mouth.  
Zexion closed the door quickly before the footsteps passed.  
"Um hi?"  
"Hey..."  
"Are you... Alright?"  
The grey blue haired teen raised a hand to shove the hair back out of his eyes.  
"Um... Well..."  
Demyx raised an eyebrow.  
Zexion sighed out a whisper.  
"I-I'm a bit scared..."  
The blonde teen nodded and motioned for Zexion to sit on the bed he moved to the bathroom and washing the last of the toothpaste out of his mouth re emerged and went to his wardrobe.  
Zexion sat watching in confusion as Demyx pulled something out of the wardrobe.  
He unfolded it on the floor and went back to the wardrobe and got some blankets.  
Once he was finished setting it up he nodded to Zexion.  
"Now, goodnight Zexion."  
To his surprise Demyx lay down upon the futon and pulled the blankets over himself.  
"What? No I can't!"  
But Demyx was already snoring...  
Zexion felt colour rise in his cheeks as he leaned down and kissing Demyx softly on the cheek whispered.  
"Goodnight and thanks..."  
The blonde rolled over on his side and grinned from ear to ear as Zexion climbed into his bed.  
/Maybe he was right about this 'love' thing after all... He must feel it, I mean who else would take out Marluxia for me? Apart from Luxord of course.../  
Settling down into Demyx's bed now he smiled to himself.  
"You know I know you're awake and that I think you're insane right?"  
Demyx's eyes shot open.  
"I do now..."  
"No sleeping person smiles that much."  
The blonde turned around and saw Zexion smiling, although it was small, it was there and definitely a smile.  
Seeing this made Demyx freeze and then grin back.  
"Goodnight Zexion."  
"Night Demyx."


	5. Chapter 5

His eyes blinked awake to an empty bed...  
Demyx sighed pushing blonde locks out of his eyes...  
/Maybe he's in the bathroom.../  
Standing up he padded across the cold floor to the door he knew would be empty, but for the sake of hope he would knock anyway...  
His closed fist rapped on the door three times when it finally creaked open, his hopes lifted and fell in less than a second.  
Behind that door lay dark emptiness and nothing more.  
A feeling like falling came over him, he had a very bad feeling about this...  
Dragging his coat from the closet he pull his clothes on fast and throwing his bedroom door open ran through the halls...  
His gaze overlooking the gardens searching for a small dark haired figure that might be him...  
Eyes searching bedrooms as he passed them searching for anything that might indicate where he was...  
Turning over every rock and finding nothing but empty space...  
Finally he had one last room the room where everyone would be at this time in the morning, discussing their current situation or their plans to dispose of the keybearer...  
Bursting in through the doors his eyes scanned the table.  
"Well how nice of you to join us Demyx... Hey!"  
Seeing Zexion was not at the table he turned tail and ran out into the garden, breathless and gasping his feet seemed to be working by themselves.  
Turning a corner here, running through a gate, hopping a wall...  
"WAIT!"  
Just to see the last glimpse of Zexion disappearing into a dark portal, leaving him there, utterly alone.

The rest of the organisation were emerging from the castle now to see what was going on.  
"Who do you think you are disturbing and then running out of our meeting?"  
Demyx just stood there staring into the space where Zexion had stood moments before.  
"Well? Are you just going to stand there or are you going to answer me?"  
His eyes shifted from the space where Zexion had stood to the eyes of his superior they took on a hard look and without answering he shoved straight past him and he walked straight back towards the castle, leaving his superiors voice shouting after him.  
The thoughts floating about his mind drowning out his voice.  
/Why did he leave me... I thought... I dunno what I thought.../  
In a daze he arrived back in his room and fell onto the futon he had previously slept on...  
He was low enough to not see the empty bed, he could lay there and pretend Zexion was still sleeping peacefully, just out of his reach...  
Always just out of reach, but now he didn't know where he was or how to find him.  
So he lay there...  
Pining...  
Pretending...  
For a time it worked...  
He would replay the night in his head again and again...  
It got so vivid he could almost make himself believe Zexion was leaning over and kissing his cheek again...  
*I miss you*  
He would hear his voice whisper as he woke up in a cold sweat.  
"Zexion!"  
Nothing but emptiness would meet his call...  
Echoing black emptiness of the world that never was...

Days passed...  
Then weeks...  
Finally months...  
Seasons changed as he stared out the window expecting some sign of him...  
Anything...  
The trees changed from green to brown from bare to green again...  
Years...

He didn't leave his room anymore...  
Axel visited him from time to time and to bring him his meals...  
"You need to eat..."  
But no matter how many times he said this, he never ate more than a few mouthfuls before pushing it away...  
The redhead wondered if he could even talk anymore...  
Despair had made his body thin and weak and his voice was probably the same...  
"You know he's not coming back dude... Please... Just forget about him..."  
Still his eyes stared blankly lit up by the golden sunset...  
The one thing that had not been affected by the whole ordeal, his eyes...  
Those bright blue eyes shone up with the hope the rest of his body seemed to have forgotten...  
With a sigh Axel stood up and patting Demyx lightly on the back left him alone with his thoughts...

His eyes closed with the sunset that night...  
Dreams of the last night he had spent with Zexion flooded his mind...  
The kiss he had been remembering forever imprinted on his memory...  
Relived...  
Causing a smile to spread across his sleeping face...  
*I love you...*

Axel kneeled beside his bed with his breakfast tray which he settled on the ground to pull the curtains.  
"Oi! Wake up! It's morning!"  
Picking up the tray he left it on his bedside table laughing.  
"Jeez you must be wrecked man..."  
He made to shake him to wake him up but when his hands touched his skin, it was like ice.  
Acid green eyes opened wide as his now shaking hand searched for a pulse that it never found...

"They say he died because he was too weak from not eating... I know he died of a broken heart..."  
Axel laid the last of the roses upon the grave and sighing walked away...  
No one ever found out why Zexion left...  
Or where he went to...  
All they knew is that wherever he was, someone had truly loved him...

The end.


End file.
